Brotherly Love

July 29, 1950. Hyde is born.
January 18, 1953. Jeckle is born. Hyde now officially has a "little helper" for his schemes, investigations, and creations. She just has to get a wee bit older.
May 10, 1960. Heckle is born. Hyde now officially has someone to blame. Heckle manifests her first Super Power: ruining Hyde's life at the ripe old age of 1 day by taking Mother's attention away from him.

Things went downhill from there.

Here's what I remember: Hyde working on projects, like taking his motorcycle apart or building the hydroplane; Hyde's boyfriend (I think) living with us-he had a trumpet. Thus, when it came time in the 4th grade for me to choose an instrument, I knew I wanted to play the trumpet. "They" tried to fool me with a (more feminine) cornet but I would have none of it; Hyde being gone for long periods of time (living with the grandparents, moving to Florida, living in another town), which were somewhat peaceful, then returning and chaos reigning; Hyde badgering Mom, following her around the house, endlessly, asking her the same questions over and over and accusing her of the same things over and over until she would lock herself in the bathroom, crying, then he would find me out on the porch and badger me into having sympathy for his plight; Daddy always gone fishing or hunting; Jeckle either gone or taking refuge in her room; having to tiptoe around the house during the day because Hyde was sleeping (I later found out that during one of these periods Hyde was taking LSD every night for approximately 250 days in a row); and, perhaps most famously in my memory and in terms of its long-term effect on me, the following scene.

I've had to recently acknowledge to myself that I have no idea when this actually took place. For the longest time, I thought I was five but realized a couple of years ago that was impossible, based on where it took place (in a part of the house that wasn't built until I was in the 3rd grade). More recently I've realized I had to be old enough to know what the word he used meant (you'll find out in a minute).

Hyde was on a rampage. This was not unusual but the fact that Mom and Daddy were both there, together, was. He was screaming and cursing. For some unknown reason, I walked into this scene (meaning, I don't know why I wasn't in hiding somewhere). Hyde was at the bottom of the stairs, carrying on and when he cursed, Mom said, "Oh, Hyde, not in front of the child!" (Boy, as I write that, that sounds REALLY fishy, but that IS my memory of what she said.) And Hyde responded with the words that have been burned into my brain ever since: "I don't know why you had to go and fuck and have her anyway!!!"

Needless to say, this did not endear him to me.

Oh, and a little footnote: Obviously I've known for years that I ruined Hyde's life by being born but I have to give him some credit for, in recent years, acknowledging that perhaps that wasn't really my fault. It was admitted a tad bit too late to undo the psychic damage, but appreciated nonetheless. However, a year or so ago, Hyde "revealed" to me that I had also taken Daddy away from him by becoming the "son he never had" (I liked to fish, hunt, be outdoors, and play sports which were all near and dear to Daddy's heart-Hyde liked none of those things) and that I knew what I was doing and that I knew it was wrong! And that Daddy making me into his "son" probably accounted for many of my emotional problems.

Jeez!, I wish I had even a third of the power over peoples' lives Hyde believed I had over his! It would really come in handy sometimes.