The Phone Call

I moved to California to live with my girlfriend in July. Two months later, our house burned to the ground in the Oakland Firestorm of 1991. Luckily, my girlfriend had a friend that was house sitting in North Berkeley so we, plus my friend from college, were able to temporarily move in with her. It was almost Christmas. I was sitting on our bed in the upstairs bedroom when the phone rang. It was for me. It was Hyde. I took the receiver from my friend warily. Why was he calling? For some bad reason, I was sure.

"Heckle?"
"Yes."
"Do you remember the time you and Jeckle were at my apartment in Vestal and I told you my dentist had put a radio transmitter in my tooth?" (How on earth could I forget THAT?)
"Yes."
"Did you think that sounded crazy?"

Alarms! Bells! Sirens! Trick question, trick question! Don't answer truthfully! It's a TRAP! These were the kinds of questions he liked to ask in order to get me to agree with his delusions and if I didn't, he would berate me and torment me until I would finally cave.

"Uh, well. I don't know. I suppose it's possible someone would do that to you..."
"Look, Jeckle. You can hem and haw or you can tell me the truth."

Deep breath. Moment of truth.

"OK, yes. I thought it sounded crazy." Hold breath. Wait.

Much to my surprise, Hyde burst into tears and sobbed, "I realized that was a delusion! All the things I thought were true were just delusions!"

At this point in the story, I know I should say something like how relieved I was, or happy I was for him, or how I felt such hope now. But here's what really happened for me.

I felt absolutely empty.

What was I supposed to say?

In fact, I have no idea what I actually did say. I'm sure I tried to say something that was at least superficially supportive because that was what I was supposed to do. But in my heart and mind, I just felt numb.

However, that event clearly marked the beginning of HIS recovery and a period of relative sanity and productivity that lasted until 2003.

Let the summer of 2008 clearly mark the beginning of MY recovery.

Free at last, free at last, thank god, I will be free at last.